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Hope You Fail Better

by June Panic

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1.
Dirge Without Music (words by Edna St. Vincent Millay) I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground So it is, so it will be for so it has been, time out of mind Into the darkness they go: the wise and lovely crowned with lilies, with laurel They must go, but I am not resigned
2.
Let My Lungs Coin Words Only a creature who shares this feature: it don’t wanna live, don’t wanna die can get to feeling ghost-like. Waiting on slaughter, breathing it’s own words, understood to be air, but from its lungs there only comes a death sentence. Only this creature who thinks and speaks in symbols can let symbols rule all creation and therefore lives only symbolically This unfeminine wile, this lonely near, Is a word not to hear.
3.
Both Sides Of Paper (Can Be Used) I’ve been ordered to keep what I would like to give I’ve been falling asleep with a hard grin I only found what too easily hid I only came back to life when I learned how You did, If You did In the year that we met, I was twenty-two and it was harder then to let down my guardin’ It only came when I told it to go It only said what I didn’t want to know, but now I know: both sides of paper can be used You give me the things that I would like to give Lord, You give me everything and I would like to give in, but…
4.
Breach Birth Control When our little baby gets born, believe me it’s backwards, but consider who will call this a breech and who will put baby into an incubator when she dares to ask for a gift? They don’t give anything up with a smile They don’t give anything up with a smile They don’t love you, child Although she was given time, it didn’t belong to an ‘I’, no
5.
On H’s “They” Every new ‘they’ is further from where you can go to and be with those that die Those that must die Lowered in the dirt, then fed the dirt Lord, I know it sounds strange but it might sound good in the right mind - Bells are made for ringing through the ears Inbetween-being-toward-being-fed-to-a-ghost who will haunt all those that die Those that must die If we’ve fallen prey when we fall and pray, Lord, ‘they’ feel what You do with your light Those that die are bells and made for ringing, do You hear?
6.
The World Is Not A Place I know how to follow What to follow, follows from that There’s a kinder joy in hurting Leads us far from the glory of holes Ain’t it great to have a thorn in your side? To be raised in the dark? To be a part of the chain? To be unable to explain your words? Time is but a symbol for Eternity Space is but a symbol for Infinity So, let’s wake to the newly alive Raise up the dark! Be a part of the change! Be the tomb for a mind! Be unable to explain your wor(l)d(s)!
7.
Paint Legs On The Snake Even if the parking lot says “Go!”, you can not go Even when you’re salivating snow, your food gets cold If this invitation is an order, no wonder no one comes Even though your one and one ain’t too convincing, it’s true Pray one mitt for the man in the middle of lost and found Pray one mitt for the woman who takes a stand near the middle of lost and found Paint both legs on the snake So everything can stand in the middle of lost where I’m found Now take those mittens off And if you catch your death of cold, remember how gracious was your skin!
8.
Expensive Attic If our landlord caught our defenses down would we move right up from our basements bare past our bargain to forget higher views? Would we move to an expensive attic with no personal view where it’s automatic what to do? Though we only wanted to catalogue stars, It’s only natural to be part It’s automatic! It’s up to you not to choose
9.
Leaving Me My Eyes Oh Lord, the vision I count on has come undone and now I want to be done and I’m seeing blue crows in the sun and, though I’m married, I see a coffin for one and I’m eyein’ a lonely gun But oh, I can only die compared to those who live beyond my million miles of no - who take from time its “No, No, No, Yes” The world You have set beside me is so much fun It’s where I want to belong It’s where I’ve been looking for you since I got young and I found trumpets in the floor and I’m finding that I’ve been married before and I’m sewing the slits in my wrists and I’m keeping my eyes in my fists
10.
Getting Over Joy ‘Honest’ is the only form of life that takes a beating It’s better not to say but the victim here says: “who am I to say?” Virtue could be your only hope or it could hurt you You’d like to give it a name but the choices flop If you freeze the rain, it’s gotta drop Don’t have to waste your time or money donating what you can’t afford Don’t have to sacrifice your honey - they’ll only make it into gold Then, honey, you’re bound to get sold I wanted to become overjoyed (that’s why I worshiped with a severed mind) But with my will I’ll be getting over joy (no longer worshiping the severed tie) My word, how You oversee I haven’t been honest with me
11.
That’s The Moon, My Son There’s a separate economy Circulating blood inside of a soul It’s how we were wired It’s the Architects’ design It’s not enough to admire it needs help to grow To bring joy and love to rest in our breath and bones It’s how we were wired If for better than for worse If you’re caught up in the why of it You might never think you know So how can I sleep another day Now that my soul has yawned awake? You’re caught up in the wiring Yeah, but that’s the moon, my son

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released December 4, 2003

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June Panic Vienna, Austria

June Panic is a singer-songwriter from Grand Forks, North Dakota, currently residing in Vienna, Austria.
Since 1990, he has recorded 13 solo albums of indie pop/folk/punk songs in addition to records with the bands Free Jesse and June Panic's Wife.
June's 7th album, Glory Hole, was the first release of the indie label Secretly Canadian.
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